The Presence Challenge

This morning I was explaining to my sister how I rarely get consistent cardio exercise these days. I get the stroller ready, and intend on walking with my little one, and then “ideally” she sits in the stroller happily (which usually involves some cajoling with a snack). This isn’t how it goes most of the time unfortunately. My toddler’s desire to pick up every rock, watch every bug, stop and admire the height of the trees gets in the way of my precious “workout time”. The thing is, kids don’t have a sense of time. Which is why they are so happy!

Yes, we “grow up” and have to “get serious”, “be efficient” and be “successful”.

As I write these words now I am smirking because these words feel incredibly irrelevant with the state of the world. And it’s about damn time. I am starting to completely rewrite the meaning of these words for myself, and I wonder what your updated definitions might be. Why can't being "successful" be someone who takes the time to stop and say hello to someone? To stop and look up at the clouds?

It is really hard having a toddler during a pandemic. And also really awesome. She keeps me present every time she says “mommy away!” as she pushes my electronic device out of my hand to play blocks, read, or kick a ball to each other. Every time our current state of affairs seems overwhelming and hopeless, I see her innate joy and hope is renewed immediately.

I don’t know if there has ever been another time in my life when I was forced into being truly present. The only time I can remember in the recent past is the countless hours I spent sitting and breastfeeding in the first month after she was born. I would stare outside at the trees for hours like I was seeing them for the first time. I never got bored somehow. It must have been my complete and utter exhaustion/ bliss.

So there are two times that I relied on someone else to force me into being present.

I have struggled with "presence" my whole life. I think it may be due to my constitution of equal parts dreamer/ gypsy/ Gemini. I love my life, but I am indeed always striving for the next thing.

I read something recently that said, “My brain has too many tabs open.”

Can anyone relate?! Sure, everyone...probably even monks have found themselves occasionally with too many tabs open. It is such a struggle to stay “on task” with just being a present human, in whatever situation we find ourselves, every day.

I love writing to you, as it is a form of presence for me. I hope my musings are received as questioning rather than me telling you what to do. I am student, like you.

My challenge to all of us is this:

For the next 7 days, be present with something or someone for 10 minutes a day.

I am not talking about scheduling exercise, or doing a meditation. I am talking about experiencing a simple moment, thing, nature, being with someone, etc. with your SENSES, at 100% effort.

Feel the smoothness of the rock, notice the sound of a river or rustling of aspen leaves, smell the sage...notice I am giving outdoor examples. You can do whatever you like, wherever you like, but I find it is easier to omit distractions when you are outdoors.

Another fun way to practice is to take as slow as possible with eating. Engage all the senses to eat one bite of fruit. Smell the fruit, put it in your mouth, notice the texture, try to identify which tastebuds light up in your mouth, note the temperature, the flavor, imagine the color. Remember when you did this as a baby?! Ha... of course not.

More importantly:

Can we make this an intrinsically motivated behavior?

Of course we can. We just need to practice doing nothing!